What About Now
by lilpnut82
Summary: In the aftermath of the angels falling from heaven, Sam, Cas and Dean try to stay afloat with unexpected outcomes on the horizon
1. Chapter 1: A Phone Call

**Chapter 1: A Phone Call**

Lebanon, Kansas  
Fall 2014

Sam let out a sigh as he shut his laptop down for the night. Ever since the angels had fell it was more of the same, chaos and destruction everywhere. Cas was graceless and no amount of lore research gave any answers or a possible solution. Dean looked just as defeated as he sat poring through file after file from the Men of Letters archives.

"Everything Cas has done for us and we can't do a damn thing for him." Dean shoved the folders away in frustration. "All this knowledge and we're useless." He walked to the fridge and grabbed two beers. "We should have just killed Metatron the first time we saw his slimy face."

"We couldn't have known." Sam got up to stretch. "We'll figure out something. We always do."

"I'm starting to get tired of always having to be the ones figuring it out." He grabbed his ringing cellphone off the table. "Unknown number." He shrugged and put it back on the table. "I'm turning in. Come get me if he shows up tonight."

Sam nodded as he sat back down. "I'm going to research a little more. Good night, Dean."

"Good night, Sammy."

The ring of Dean's cellphone woke Sam from where he'd fallen asleep on a stack of papers. He yawned and creaked his neck before answering. "Hello? No this isn't Dean. Who is this? Lisa Braeden?" He was wide awake now as he hurried down the hall to Dean's room, not even bothering to knock. "Dean, wake up," he nudged him forcefully.

"Is it Cas?" he asked groggily.

"No. It's Lisa Braeden."


	2. Chapter 2: Blast From The Past

**Chapter 2: Blast From The Blast**

"How in the hell does she remember you?" Sam stopped pacing back and forth across the library floor when Dean joined him after hanging up with Lisa. "Cas said the memory wipe was foolproof."

"No frigging idea. Maybe when he lost his grace, anything he did ceases to exist." Dean shrugged. "It's not like we have a guidebook on dealing with stolen angel grace. Anna was different."

"What did Lisa want?"

"She's living in California now and would like me to come down. She didn't say why."

"Are you going to go?"

"I don't know. She's the past. It seems kind of moot. I mean what could I possibly do for her? If she's looking for answers, I don't have any that she'd be able to wrap her head around. I'm better use here, trying to find some way to help Cas."

"I think you should go. She might surprise you with what she can understand."

"If I go, it's only for a couple days then I'm right back here. "

Lisa hung the phone and walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. As she stood looking out the window into the backyard, she thought about Dean and the year they'd spent together.

"Mom?" Ben's voice broke into her thoughts. "Taylor's crying."

"Thank you, sweetie," she said, still in her thoughts as she walked down the hall and into her daughter's room. She sat down in the rocking chair with Taylor in her arms and started soothing her back to sleep. Taylor was the spitting image of her father, Dean Winchester.


	3. Chapter 3: Normal Apple Pie Life

**Chapter 3: Normal Apple Pie Life**  
 **Spring 2010**

Lisa had just put dinner on the table and was about to call Ben to supper when a knock came on the door. Standing on the other side was a broken and devastated Dean Winchester. She didn't know all the details but she knew from his face that it hadn't ended well.

"Hey Lisa," he said, his voice breaking. "If it's not too late, I think I'd like to have that beer now."

"It's never too late." She wrapped her arms around him after he pulled her to him, holding onto her like a drowning man. "It's going to be okay, Dean."

"Dean!" Ben looked up from his Game Boy when they entered the dining room.

"Hey, Ben." he said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Ben, why don't you go wash up for dinner?" Lisa went to the cupboard and took down a glass. She poured some whiskey in it and placed it in front of Dean.

"Ok, Mom." He stopped in front of Dean. "I'm glad you're here."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Lisa asked him softly that night as they lay in bed.

"I couldn't do anything. I just had to watch my brothers fall into that hole. Bobby was dead. Cas was gone. I was alone. God brought Cas back and he healed Bobby but couldn't do anything for Sam and Adam. The thought of my brother's down there for eternity... I just... it's not fair. We sacrificed so much of our lives and for it to end like this. Why am I the last one standing? Sam was so much stronger than me and Adam was innocent."

"I don't know, Dean. I wish I had the answers for you." She put her hand on his cheek. "Just know Ben and I are here for you."

"I know. Thank you." he sighed and let his eyes drift shut.


	4. Chapter 4: Healing

**Chapter 4: Healing  
One Month Later**

"Are you sure about this, Lisa?" Megan Braeden frowned as she folded laundry, the phone balanced on her shoulder. "He's pretty much like a soldier back from war. You were barely a couple like a million years ago."

"He needs someone, Megan. And I do love him. Ben does too. You don't know him. He's a great guy, a little rough around the edges, but that's not all he is."

"Alright. I don't want to argue with you, Lisa. Just don't dive right into the deep end with this guy, okay?"

"I'm not. You're still coming over for dinner tomorrow, right?"

"If Ron gets off from work in time, yeah."

"You'll love Dean once you get to really know him, Megan. We'll see you tomorrow." Lisa hung up the phone and sighed.

"Hey Mom," Ben hurried into the kitchen and grabbed a couple soda cans out of the fridge. "Dean said he'd show me how to fix an engine. Can I do my homework after supper?"

"Just this once." She watched him as he ran back outside and handed Dean a soda.

"Ben really had fun working on the truck with you today," she said later that night as they got ready for bed.

"I had fun showing him the ropes." He turned on his side, watching her as she brushed her hair. "It was a good day today. I'm always going to think about Sammy but I owe it to him to keep my promise."


	5. Chapter 5: Road Trip

Chapter 5: Road Trip

Present Time

Dean pulled into a gas station and went inside for a drink and some snacks while Baby was filling up. He was standing in the snack aisle debating between chips or individually wrapped pies when his phone rang. It was Sam. "I hope you're calling with good news."

"Kind of. Cas just got here. He's tired but fine. The lore is still useless. Kevin and I are going to keep looking but I think we're banging our heads against a brick wall at this point. Maybe we should try talking to Metatron."

"No," Dean said firmly as he paid for his drink and snacks. "Talking to Metatron is what got us here in the first place. There has to be something else."

"Like I said, we'll keep looking. Where are you?"

"A couple hours outside of Lisa's. Stopped for snacks and gas. I still think this is a bad idea, Sammy. The past should stay the past. I moved on when Cas wiped their memories."

"But you didn't, at least not really. You just stopped thinking about them. You owe it to yourself to fully close that door and you owe it to her too."

"And here I thought I was the big brother." He climbed into Baby and put his snacks down on the seat.

"Shut up." Sam looked up as Kevin walked into the room. "I've gotta go, Dean. I think Kevin just found something."

"I didn't find anything," Kevin said after Sam put the phone down on the table.

"I know. I lied. Dean was stalling."

"Was he really in love with this Lisa?" Kevin sat down at the table and reached for one of the lore books. "It's hard for me to picture Dean settled down with the whole white picket fence."

"I think he was. I was soul-less most of the time he was with her so I'm probably not the best judge, but Dean always wanted normal. He only gave it up because of how we live."


	6. Chapter 6: Surprise!

**Chapter 6: Surprise!**

"Mom, I'm going out." Ben stopped in the living room doorway.

"Don't stay out too late." Lisa looked up from her book. "It's a school night. And your sister wants you to say goodnight to her before you leave. She won't fall asleep until you do."

"Are you really sure about telling Dean? I wasn't going to say anything because you know I like him, but isn't this just opening up a can of worms for everyone? He thought our memories were gone. We're off the radar."

"Your sister deserves to know her father and I'm sure demons have more to worry about now than a old flame and her children."

"I hope you're right, Mom." He gave her a hug. "I'll be home by midnight."

Dean pulled up in front of the address Lisa had given him and checked his phone one last time before climbing out of Baby and making his way to the front door. He'd planned to just check into a motel but the light was on. He knocked rather than ring the doorbell since it was getting late. "Hey Lisa," he said when she opened the door. "I know it's late."

"It's okay. I was still up." She stepped aside to let him in. "How are you, Dean? How's Sam?"

"We're good. This is a nice place you have."

"Thanks. It's small but we like it. It's a good neighborhood too. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Just a water would be great. Thanks."

"Coming right up. Why don't you go make yourself comfortable in the living room? I'm sure after that long drive, a soft couch sounds pretty good."

"It does. Thanks Lisa."

She smiled before going into the kitchen. He walked into the living room and was about to sit down when his phone rang. **_Jody Mills_** flashed on the caller ID. "Sheriff Mills, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hey Dean, something I need to run by you."

"Shoot." He wandered around the living room as she rattled off the details of something she'd come across, looking at the pictures on the walls of Lisa and Ben. Some of them were from the year he'd spent with them, some older and some more recent. There were some he didn't recognize at all.

"Dean? Hello?" Jody sounded exasparated on the other end.

"Sorry, Jody. I'll ask around and see what we can dig up. I'll call you tomorrow." He hung up the phone just as Lisa walked back into the room.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just a friend looking for some information." He accepted the bottled water from her. "Not to be blunt Lisa, but why did you call me?"

"There's really no easy way to say this. Follow me." She walked down the hall to Taylor's bedroom and stopped at the door, pushing it open. "This is Taylor."

"Okay... so you have a daughter?"

"Actually... we have a daughter."


	7. Chapter 7: Daddy Dean and Uncle Sam

Chapter 7: Daddy Dean and Uncle Sam

Two Days Later

"You have a daughter? How do you have a daughter? Not how as in how but how?" Sam looked up from his laptop, research forgotten.

Dean grabbed a beer from the fridge and opened it, taking a sip. "We'd actually talked about it a little but it was just talking. And then you came back and everything changed. It kind of fell to the wayside."

"Well apparently it didn't, Dean. Are you sure she's even yours?"

"I'm not an idiot, Sam. I took the results Lisa gave me and had them checked. Taylor is my daughter."

"This changes things around here, Dean."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Are you going to tell Cas and Kevin?"

"I don't know, Sam. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole 'I'm a father' thing."

"Did you meet her?"

"She was asleep. I told Lisa I needed some time to think. This isn't exactly a life to bring a child into. They're off the radar and safe right now. I don't want to meet her if I'm not going to be in her life."

"How'd Lisa take that?"

"She was a little hurt but she said she understood. I'm not trying to be an ass here, Sam. I'm really not."

"I know that, Dean. If it makes you feel any better, I'd react the same way. It's a rough hand to be dealt and on top of everything else going on right now."


End file.
